Giving birth to a book
Contents format reveal: it’s the seasons!
(Are we surprised? Probably not!)
I was warned about it, I read about it, I thought I understood it, and I still wasn’t prepared (just like with giving birth physically): the range and depth of feelings that have come with my book-creation process this summer. I’ve frequently been over the moon with excitement and so impatient for this project to see the light of day; a few hours later I’ve cried in bed, believing it must be impossible to publish it after all. There is the satisfied exhaustion that results from my leaning over various drafts of the manuscript for hours, going through eighty pages word-by-word with my trusty fountain pen and the fine-toothed comb of my brain, to the point of my body yelling for attention, and yet not wanting to stop because I’m loving it. The sheer number of things I’ve had to learn about and research. Agonizing over commas and spaces and line breaks. Grappling with the guilt that popped up unexpectedly when I truly realized what a huge privilege it is to be able to write a book and get help with it and publish it, and considering how it’s most helpful to deal with that guilt. A thousand little decisions about design and font and size and layout. The fear of metaphorical attack: sometimes when people don’t agree with people, they get cruel, and I have opinions about things that show up in my poems which may be controversial. And the gratitude! Those long-winded acknowledgements that mention the dozens of people who help make a book even though only one person is the author? They aren’t making that stuff up. As well as good ol’ impostor syndrome: who am I to write a book, &c. … I’ll spare you the details, as I suspect most folks have experienced this in some arena.
Oof. Some of it hurts, and I wouldn’t want to give it up.
So my summer has been a fascinating compilation of moving, unpacking and settling in, meeting and getting to know a little rescue doggo who joined our family in July, learning new music for the coming concert season, teaching a little (including some extremely cute preschoolers through whom I learned a new song about dinosaurs, oh my heart), preparing for the school year (both for my own kids and for my piano studio), hanging out in the woods and at the river, riding my bike, making new friends and seeing the old, writing new poems as they come, and BOOK.
the Good Boi
Practically speaking, I have a tentative hope of the book being ready for folks to hold and read and purchase by October 1 because of a local author reading I’m participating in that day. This may be unrealistic. If not by then, I am working towards as soon after that as possible.
As soon as I can, in any case, I’ll be doing an all-in-one title/cover reveal! I’m so excited about the final cover design, I can’t even tell you.
Thank you, as always, for reading!